When We Are Betrayed

Psalm 55: 13-15 If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God. Psalm 55: 13-15

Betrayal is possibly one of the most difficult things we will have to deal with in our walk as Christians. To discover that those whom you have entrusted have broken that trust can throw us into a state of uncertainty. That uncertainty can lead to poor decisions as our flesh wars against our Spirit. Because the flesh wants to react as the world would. Vengeance is what the world embraces. But Jesus always expects more from us. Christianity always raises the bar:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary:"If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12: 17-21

This grates so much against our flesh. The offending person deserves it. After all we are right and they are wrong. But God does not care if you are right, only if you are obedient. There is a larger picture being painted by the Master. Sometimes we think our little corner of the canvas is all that matters. We can become self-righteous in our wronged state. But within these verses from Romans are several truths we need to embrace if we are to survive the betrayal.

First, on a payment scale, we cannot repay evil with evil. This is the old, "two wrongs don't make a right." In our pursuit of payback, we become what we abhor. Evil is evil and we are to have nothing to do with evil.

Avoid every kind of evil. 1Thessalonians 5: 22

This is one of the instructions from the Apostle Paul about what God's will for us is. That is how important it is. There is no payback. Evil cannot be paid back it has to be overcome. The dictionary defines overcome as "conquer." When we think and act in payback mode, we are still perpetuating evil. Therefore evil still wins. But when we overcome evil; evil loses. It is conquered.

The next lesson from these verses in Romans is that people are watching. Paul exhorts us to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. Note, Paul is not saying to do what WE think is right. We must take into consideration everyone. It matters how other believers and those in the world perceive our actions.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. Romans 14: 13

One of the largest problems in the western church is hypocrisy. We talk one way and walk another. We preach forgiveness as we should but when betrayed that concept gets pushed to the limit. Here is the teaching of Jesus:

you, then, who teach others, do you not teach yourself? You who preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that people should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who brag about the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? As it is written: "God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you." Romans 2: 21-24

Did you catch that last line? God's name is blasphemed amongst the Gentiles (unbelievers) because of you. The world is watching and wanting a reason to believe in Christ or to not believe. The entire crux of Christianity is the forgiveness God showered upon us. To then turn around and not forgive someone else, no matter how egregious the offense may seem, is what will turn off people from seeking the cross.

Moving through the verses from Romans, God is instructing us to live at peace with everyone; as far as it depends on you. God adds this qualifier because He knows that there will always be unrest. There is no peace in the world but even within the church there will be unrest. There will be people who cause dissension and who will not spare the flock. There will always be people who think more about themselves then the cause of Christ. But God is saying it doesn't have to be YOU. As far as it depends upon you, live at peace with everyone. Not just the ones that are easy to love either.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5: 43-48

Yes, even the betrayers we must strive to love. Even those people we trusted and were hurt by. Even those who did so wrong by us. That is what it means to follow Jesus. That is the sacrifice. We give up our false sense of self righteousness and desire to repay evil with evil because as the verses from Romans teach us, vengeance is the Lord's. God says that He will repay the wrongs that have been perpetrated against us. He sees your pain, He knows your suffering. How much so?

You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? Psalm 56: 8 (ESV)

God not only sees your tears, He holds them. He remembers them. He will avenge them as well. In this same Psalm we see David expressing the lament we all face sometimes:

In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? All day long they twist my words; they are always plotting to harm me. They conspire, they lurk, they watch my steps, eager to take my life. Psalm 56: 4-6

Twisting our words, plotting against us, conspiring, lurking, and eagerly watching. Then when the betrayal does come is it any wonder we are so wounded? But we must remember as David did here that when we trust in God there is no fear. There is nothing mortal man can do to us. Betray us? Sure but God will right all wrongs beloved. Overcome the day of evil with a lifetime of good.

On the contrary the Romans verses tell us show kindness to our enemies. If they are hungry feed them; thirsty give them something to drink. Tough instructions from God to us here. But the truth is that by caring for our enemies, we accomplish the will of God for our lives. We avoid the evil of vengeance. We avoid destroying our witness to other believers and to the world at large. We also "heap burning coals" upon the heads of our enemies. Now, despite that sometimes that is a pleasant visual for us to consider someone who has wronged us in that is not what Jesus meant. Metaphorically, it is to begin to sear the person's conscience. When you greet someone's evil with good, you force them to look at themselves and what they have done. If you respond in kind however, you can end up justifying their actions for them; in their own minds. And in the end, even if you cannot change their ways or their beliefs look at the harvest of righteousness you have! You did not alter your witness. You did not respond with evil. You tried to bring the person back to what is good. You strengthened your trust in God. You increase the likelihood that they will not continue to treat you the same way.

That is because most betrayal and evil done upon us is seeking a response. The devil is the accuser:

Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: "Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. Revelation 12:10

Sometimes he even uses people we love, people we trust and people within the church to stand and accuse us. We must stand firm though and not give in to the response the enemy is seeking. That reaction is one of two possibilities. When we are betrayed we can react in our flesh, destroy our witness and reduce ourselves down to the level of our accusers. We become as much a part of the story as they are. The other angle the enemy could be seeking is to derail the path God has you on. Let's face it. When we are betrayed we do not want to continue where we are at. It is easier to start over; start elsewhere. But easy is not usually the way the Lord wants us to take. Easy is not where we are refined. Easy is not where we grow.

Our key verses today is the lament of one betrayed. You can hear the sadness in David's voice. We can deal with attacks so much easier if the assailant is unknown. But as David outlines how hard it is when the person is a close friend! How greater the challenge. Thankfully, David does not leave us in this state of woe before finishing the Psalm. In typical Davidic fashion, David turns to the one who will never betray him:

But I call to God, and the LORD saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me. Psalm 55: 16-18

It doesn't matter how many oppose you. It does not matter who opposes you. The battle waged against you will result in you being unharmed. David outlines very simple cause and effect relationships here. If we call to God He will save us. If we cry out in our distress He will hear our voice. And what of the accusers?

God, who is enthroned forever, will hear them and afflict them-- Selah - men who never change their ways and have no fear of God. My companion attacks his friends; he violates his covenant. His speech is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords. Psalm 55: 19-21

Be careful when you stand in judgment, accusing someone God will see if there is war in your heart behind your smooth speech. If your words are like drawn swords.

Betrayal is one of the most difficult things we can face. It cuts us deep and the wound just seems to grow. But the accuser is the enemy, no matter who stands in front of you. The enemy has two goals to either get you to react angrily and become part of the problem, or to derail the work God has called you to. Give him neither. As for as it depends on you live at peace with everyone. Even those who hurt you. Evil cannot be repaid but by God. Instead seek to overcome the day of evil with a lifetime of good. People are watching. Show them the same forgiveness God showed us. That while we were still sinners Christ died for us. This is not an exercise in dismissing your feelings. God sees your hurt and collects the pains, the very tears in His bottle. Rely on His promises:

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55: 22

He will not let you fall; He will not betray you, even when man does.

Reverend Anthony Wade June 14, 2010