Words Are Alive Do Not Quarrel

2Timothy 2: 23-24 Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Words are alive; cut them and they bleed." Not only do the words themselves bleed but they can cause even more damage when not wielded carefully. We are inherently fragile beings who bleed easily. That does not change upon salvation either. Once saved however, the enemy has lost the war for your soul. His desire at that point is to make you ineffective for the kingdom of God. One of the best schemes the enemy uses is to cause division within the body. A body united in purpose can be used mightily by God to further His kingdom but a body divided against each other is too busy fighting or being wounded, to be effective at anything.

In these verses from second Timothy we see the Apostle Paul warning about quarrels. Sometimes we can look at a word like quarrel and think of it as a simple disagreement but the dictionary defines quarrel as:

An angry dispute or altercation; a disagreement marked by a temporary or permanent break in friendly relations.

A quarrel requires anger and is defined by a break in friendly relations as a result of it. It is more extreme than just a disagreement. The enemy would like nothing more than to continue to cause angry disputes and altercations amongst the brethren; breaking friendships and fellowships. By the time we are involved in a quarrel it is often too late. Words are used as weapons and we find ourselves wounding our brothers and sisters. The Bible defines a source of quarrels for us in the Book of Proverbs:

Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice. - Proverbs 13:10

There is not a lot of advice taking during a quarrel. Not a lot of wisdom either. We can only see our side; our pride. Suddenly our feelings or our hurt become stronger than Christ in us. Thankfully, Paul outlines for us in these verses to Timothy how to avoid quarrels. Paul advises that a quarrel is the end result of an argument. Does that mean we should never have a disagreement or debate with someone? Absolutely not! Paul goes further to say that there are two specific types of arguments we should have nothing to do with as Christians. These two types of arguments are what lead to quarrels.

The first example Paul speaks about are foolish arguments. How many quarrels can you remember that essentially started out as a foolish argument? The dictionary defines foolish as:

Lacking forethought or caution. Trifling, insignificant or paltry.

This certainly describes a lot of our arguments with each other. We jump head first into the disagreement with very little forethought or caution. We either attack or are reacting defensively to what we feel is an attack. We do not play it out to the logical conclusion in our minds. When we find ourselves in arguments, there is usually little caution being used. We are no longer cautious of the words we use, the tone in which we use them, or how they might hurt the person we are arguing with. It is foolish to engage in any argument without forethought and caution.

What also makes an argument foolish is if the subject matter is not important. If it is trifling, insignificant or paltry. We can tend to argue over the most obscure, irrelevant, and ultimately mundane things. In the Gospel of Luke we see that after the Last Supper and before Jesus was to go to the cross, the disciples began arguing. Was it about some great teaching Christ had imparted to them? Was it about how to organize the church following His crucifixion? Was it a matter of great theological depth and importance? No. They were arguing over which of them would be considered the greatest. Jesus showed them in His response how what we often consider important, is really backwards to God's thinking:

And He said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those who exercise authority over them are called 'benefactors.' But not so among you; on the contrary, he who is greatest among you, let him be as the younger, and he who governs as he who serves. For who is greater, he who sits at the table, or he who serves? Is it not he who sits at the table? Yet I am among you as the One who serves. Luke 22: 25-27

Can you picture this? Right after the last supper, where Jesus shares His body and blood and announces that one of the 12 will betray Him, we find the disciples arguing over which of them will be considered greatest. A trifling matter in light of their current circumstances. A matter of personal pride and pleasing man. Yet there we can find ourselves too. Charged with the Great Commission, being salt and light to a dying world, and improving our witness and walk on a daily basis, we too can fall into the same types of foolish arguments. Arguments centered on ourselves; our pride.

God goes further though in these key verses by distinguishing between foolish and stupid arguments; imploring us to avoid both because they lead to quarrels. The dictionary defines stupid as:

Lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. Annoying or irritating; troublesome.

Stupid arguments go beyond lacking caution and having no real substantive purpose. Stupid arguments go beyond the ordinarily foolish. Have you ever found yourself arguing about something that literally doesn't even make sense? Have you ever had to deal with someone who was so argumentative that it seems that is all they do, disagree? You say up and they say down. You say the sky is blue and they say it is really "sky blue." The content of the disagreement is not just insignificant; it is dull, annoying, and irritating. That is a stupid argument. Proverbs again warns us:

He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. Proverbs 13:3

So we should avoid the foolish and stupid arguments we encounter in life because we know they will lead to quarrels. We know that quarrels are marked by the loss of a friendship or fellowship. The key verses go on to remind us that as the Lord's servant, we are not to quarrel. Instead, we must be kind to everyone, able to teach and not be resentful. Let's take a look at a famous disagreement from the Old Testament. In the 13^th chapter of Genesis, we see Abram and Lot and how the Lord had prospered them:

Now Lot, who was moving about with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. But the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together. And quarreling arose between Abram's herdsmen and the herdsmen of Lot. Genesis 13: 5-7

What was the great problem that caused such division amongst the herdsmen of Abram and Lot? Their possessions were too great! This is what caused their foolish and stupid arguments, which were leading them to quarrel.

So Abram said to Lot, "Let's not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers. Genesis 13: 8

For we are brothers. A fact often forgotten in the middle of an argument. Abram was not willing to give into the foolishness. He acted cautiously to prevent any quarreling. He then acted kindly and without any resentment:

Is not the whole land before you? Let's part company. If you go to the left, I'll go to the right; if you go to the right, I'll go to the left." Genesis 13:9

Abram trusted God. He knew as long as God was with him, it did not matter if he went to the left or the right, so he kindly deferred to Lot and allowed him to choose their directions. Lot saw the plain of the Jordan was pleasing to the eye and well watered so he trusted his eyes and chose that path, leaving Abram in the land of Canaan. Lot ended up pitching his tent near Sodom, where the men were sinning greatly against the Lord. Abram trusted in God; Lot trusted what his eyes saw. The result was that Lot ended up in Sodom and had to be saved from the wrath of God by Abram while immediately after they split, God came to Abram and showed him all the land he would receive and told him that his descendents would be like the dust of the earth; uncountable!

The Bible says that the power of life and death reside in the tongue. We can build each other up and edify or we can tear each other down and destroy. The enemy is like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. When it comes to quarreling, often times the enemy gets us to do his work for him. We end up devouring each other. We do not act with caution and engage in arguments over matters that are ultimately insignificant, or downright stupid. The resulting quarrel results in the end of a friendship or fellowship. This can be very damaging within the body of Christ. Are we supposed to agree about everything? Of course not. But we cannot allow our disagreements to destroy us. Are we not brothers (and sisters)? We must be willing to teach, be kind to everyone and avoid resentment. We are to be like Abram, not Lot. We trust in God, not what we think we see. In doing so, our quarrels will be few and our blessings will be like the dust of the earth; uncountable.

Reverend Anthony Wade December 12, 2008