God Does Not Want To Date You

Luke 13: 26-27 Then you will say, 'But we ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.' And he will reply, 'I tell you, I don't know you or where you come from. Get away from me, all you who do evil.' (NLT)

American author Joseph Campbell once said, " Marriage is not a love affair. A love affair is a totally different thing. A marriage is a commitment to that which you are. That person is literally your other half. And you and the other are one. A love affair isn't that. That is a relationship of pleasure, and when it gets to be unpleasurable , it's off. But a marriage is a life commitment, and a life commitment means the prime concern of your life. If marriage is not the prime concern, you are not married. " It seems sometimes in the modern church we have a love affair with Jesus; not the commitment He is seeking from us. Beloved, God is not interested in dating you.

I remember as a teenager we had terms we would use for the level of commitment in a relationship. If you were "seeing someone" that meant that you were still free to date other people. If you were "going out with someone" that meant that you were mutually exclusive. Then of course you had the next level, which was when a "promise ring" was given, indicating that at some point you intend to become engaged, which is an indication that at some point you wanted to marry. All of these steps in commitment are fine for the development of human relations but God does not want our intentions He wants our commitment.

But if you refuse to serve the L ord , then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the L ord ." Joshua 24: 15 (NLT)

Choose who it is that you will serve. I know some might be thinking, "Well I go to church! I even attend prayer meetings on Friday!" Sounds like you are just "seeing someone." That was the convenient thing about seeing someone. Maybe you had a date on a Friday night and spent a couple hours together on Sunday but there was no serious investment of time. No serious investment of self. You could still see who you wanted to on Saturdays or maybe spend some time with your friends; you know the ones you probably wouldn't want to see you with Jesus. As long as things were agreeable you were fine but the second that relationship cost you something you were not willing to give up, you were out. Unfortunately, there are too many people today who have religion but no relationship. Religion requires that you show up on time for a date. It requires that you spend a little money on it. It requires that you go through the motions. You have the outward appearance of someone in a relationship without the annoying features of a commitment. But a real relationship is sacrificial; it costs something of you.

Maybe you might be thinking that not only do you go to church and prayer meetings but you serve in ministry! You may even lead a ministry! You may even preach the Word of God! And don't get me wrong that is all terrific. But that sort of sounds like you are "going out with someone." The level of commitment is certainly higher but there is still something being held back. Maybe you are holding onto secret sins; which by the way are not secret to God anyway. Maybe you don't really read the Word for yourself. Maybe you have lost the passion you once had when you first started flirting with God. Maybe the religion has dampened the relationship. Maybe your prayer life has gone stale you know you don't talk to Him as much as you used to. But He is always there waiting to listen!

The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. 1Peter 3: 12a (NLT)

Your ministry activities are not your relationship with God they are your service to Him. If your walk is constituted primarily through ministry then you are setting yourself up to walk away from God. Why? Because ministries are created and run by men and men will always let you down where God never will. I have seen all the time people leave their church because they were hurt in ministry. I have seen people leave the faith because they were hurt in ministry. That is like breaking up with someone you claim to love because you were reprimanded at work! Your work is different from your walk. If you find yourself today where your relationship with God is all about what you think you do for Him then you need to realize that it should be based upon everything He has done for you!

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5: 8 (NLT)

And that is always the great relationship killer isn't it? Selfishness. But we live in such a me-centric society that inevitably we end up making the relationship about us when it should always be about Him. Selfishness, as with all sin, can be traced back to pride. Realize what this means for us today. There are people who right now who are spending their lives in service to God without bothering to have a relationship with Him! Your salvation is not based upon your works! Here is the warning from Jesus:

"Not everyone who calls out to me, 'Lord! Lord!' will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgment day many will say to me, 'Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.' But I will reply, 'I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God's laws.' Matthew 7: 21-23 (NLT)

Look at the ministry works listed in this warning! These folks cast demons out! They performed miracles! Yet on that last day they will discover that they had a lot of religion but no relationship. And religion will not get you into heaven. You may say to yourself, "Well, I don't break God's law." Not so fast. Remember, the law constituted over 613 different Mosaic laws. No one was able to keep them and if you broke one, you broke them all. That was the entire reason why God sent Jesus to earth to begin with! We cannot say that we have no sin:

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts. 1John 1: 8-10 (NLT)

So how do we repair this? How do we develop the relationship? Let's make it simple today there are three things that are non-negotiable when it comes to successful relationships. First of all, as with anyone you have interest in, you need to get to know them better. You need to figure out their patterns and the way they think. You need to learn what makes them happy, sad, or even angry. You need to understand who they are, especially in relation to you. Have you ever stayed in a relationship where the other person made no effort to get to know you? Why would you? Well, God is not a big secretive God. He has given us a slice of exactly who He is in the Bible.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. John 1: 1 (NIV)

The Bible IS God. It is not a commentary on God. It is not a suggestion or opinion. It IS God. I can guarantee you this. Whatever problem you may face in this life, God has addressed it and answered it for you in His Word. But as always there is another side:

For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable. Hebrews 4: 12-13

The other edge of the sword is that because the Bible reveals our innermost thoughts and desires, we may tend to avoid it for fear of having to see who we really are before a Holy God. How deeply does the Word cut? In the body, the joint is a connecting point between two bones. It is not deep however. It is on the surface; superficial. Marrow is defined as the innermost or essential part. It is actually the site of major blood cell production. That is the very heart of blood production, which as the Bible teaches us is where life is. You see the Word of God will divide for us what is superficial versus what is innermost and essential. It will divide for us what is merely on the surface versus what will produce the life God intends for us. So, if you want to get to know God better to strengthen your relationship with Him from merely dating to a serious commitment, then it starts with getting to know Him. We get to know Him by reading His Word:

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 2Timothy 3: 16 (NLT)

If we were more honest with ourselves we might discover that one of the reasons we avoid getting into a deeper committed relationship with God is that we do not want to know what is "wrong" in our lives. We want to hear and believe what scratches our itching ears. But as any relationship expert will tell you honesty and truth are non-negotiable. God's Word is truth, period.

The second non-negotiable in successful relationships is communication. A relationship will never mature if you are not talking to each other! Prayer is the primary vehicle for communication with God. Yes He can communicate with us through the Bible, through creation, or any other number of ways but primarily for day to day communication, prayer is vital. But as we examine ourselves does our current prayer life indicating that we are in a relationship with God or that we are casually dating? What's our "phone call frequency?" Are we talking to Him a couple of days per week? Can days go by without prayer? Imagine being in a relationship you think is serious and not talking to the person for days. It simply would not happen. God gives us His phone number in Jeremiah:

'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.' Jeremiah 33:3 (NIV)

But the key here is we have to call! We have to be in prayer in order to deepen our communication and further the relationship we have with Him. And communication goes both ways beloved. Prayer is not your chance to complain to God and expect Him to act like a spiritual ATM. We are supposed to be silent in prayer as well and listen for that still small voice within us to hear what His will is for our lives. The Bible says that He answers all of our prayers as yes that are in accordance with His will. God doesn't want your leftover time. He doesn't want to be second in your life. He does not want to be treated like a casual relationship. Enhance your prayer life and deepen your commitment.

Our key verses summarize the problem of merely dating God. Without the relationship, He simply does not know us. The fact that we ate and drank with Him or that we were close in proximity to Him is basically saying that we were just dating Him. And that brings me to the last non-negotiable for a successful relationship with God; passion. It saddens me to think how aggressively we pursue each other in dating terms. We can become so depressed when things do not go the way we wanted them to. We can expend so much energy thinking about the other person and try so desperately to make it work. Where is that aggressive pursuit of the lover of our soul? Where is the desperation in our heart toward the one who loved us so much that while we wanted nothing to do with Him He died for us anyway? That is true love. That is a relationship worth pursuing. That is someone worth getting to know inside and out. That is someone worth communicating with every day of our lives. That is someone deserving to be pursued passionately. Take that next step in your relationship with Him today. Make the commitment.

Reverend Anthony Wade November 15, 2011