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June 24, 2021

Sitting in a Swirl of Bovine Excrement, Kris Vallotton Will Make You A False Prophet for Only $400

By Anthony Wade

Kris Vallotton is back and seeking your money. In return, he will make you a false prophet too!


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You see, we are not like the many hucksters who preach for personal profit. We preach the word of God with sincerity and with Christ's authority, knowing that God is watching us. - 2Corinthians 2:17 (NLT)

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Kris Vallotton is the textbook definition of the huckster the key verse today warns us about. One who does not teach with sincerity, lacking any biblical authority, seemingly not to care that God is indeed watching. This is a man who has literally written books about our royalty and how we all deserve to be rich beyond our dreams of avarice. Like any good huckster however, Vallotton has many avenues to fleece God's flock. Through the faux school of the supernatural he has founded at Bethel Church, Vallotton hosts a week-long teaching for wannabe prophets. Don't have a calling? Don't worry! For a mere $395 you too can be taught directly by Kris how to be a false prophet too! In a transparently obvious attempt to sound biblical, Vallotton calls this the "School of the Prophets." Here is his brief pitch:

"The School of the Prophets has deep roots in biblical history. In the Old Testament, the prophet Samuel started a school for the purpose of training young prophets. Elisha succeeded Samuel as the head of the school. At the School of the Prophets this August, we hope to continue this Biblical legacy, and to help connect and develop prophetic people, prophets and prophetesses who can effectively work with five-fold leadership teams to see the history of their cities rewritten! God is calling His prophets and leaders to recognize this season. The question being asked of you right now is, will you answer the call to rise up? Your decision to say yes to the anointing on your life will positively influence the course of history! I hope you'll join us." - Kris Vallotton

The vast majority of bible translations refers to the company of prophets, not school. Either way, this was not Samuel opening a literal school or seeking cash to train them for a week. The kindest analysis would call what Vallotton is doing as a bastardization of scripture. To take a reference, that occurs in a couple of scriptures, and seek how to monetize it for personal gain. This company of prophets were actual prophets. They actually heard from God and what they prophesied came true. How can we know this? Because the bible sets out guidelines for prophets! This plea by Vallotton is for anyone who may be interested in faking prophecy. The only prerequisite is if you pay him. In return Vallotton promises people they will positively influence the course of history! How arrogant and duplicitous. Huckster indeed. Along with this plea for money, Vallotton writes an article trying to parse the difference between a gift of prophecy and a calling to the office of prophet. The link can be found above. Let us reason once more together.

"Have you ever sat in the swirl of uncertainty; questioning your calling or destiny? Or maybe you know you are made for something great but no one else has recognized it in you? I see this happen often; it can feel like the Lord comes in the night to whisper a secret that is left to simmer in your heart for years as you wait for the world to recognize and respect the call of God on your life. I understand the longing in waiting on the Word of the Lord to unfold in your life. The excitement as you dream of what it will be like, and the fear as you begin to question how it will all unfold and if you are capable."

I have never sat in a swirl of uncertainty but I think I know the smell of the swirl of manure when I sense it and that is not even prophetic. It just takes discernment. Beloved, if you are truly called of God there will be no uncertainty. You will not question it. Prophets of old actually heard from the Lord. He does not stutter. What Bethel and Vallotton teach is not prophesy but rather mysticism techniques of emptying oneself to "hear" whatever pops into our wickedly deceitful hearts. The person is then "trained" to ascribe these feelings to "hearing from God." If it turns out that it was just the pizza you ate the night before and not actually God, the false prophet is assured that getting it wrong is somehow part of the development of the prophetic. It is not. It is the end of the façade that you are prophetic. Samuel never waited on the world to recognize him. He could care less personally when people, like Saul, did not respect his call. The prophet speaks for God and is no respecter of person. Vallotton is all about being respected by people to validate a calling he simply does not have. We can be assured of this even by hearing his own story about how he was "called."

"In 1985, I had an encounter with the Lord that changed the trajectory of my life forever. The call of God on my life to be a prophet to the nations was clear; I could not deny it if I wanted to. Jesus walked into my bathroom amid my evening bath and told me, "I have called you to be a prophet to the nations. You will speak before kings and queens. You will influence prime ministers and presidents. I will open doors for you to talk to mayors, governors, ambassadors, and government officials all around the world." This encounter lasted for roughly 30 minutes and left me with a thousand questions. I had been given an assignment with no clear directions to discover the God-given destiny over my life. I was left to pioneer a promise and protect the prophetic proclamation but I did not know where to go." - Kris Vallotton

So let me see if I got this straight. Jesus Christ walked into Kris Vallotton's bathroom, while he was taking a bath, and told him specifically that he would be a prophet to the nations before kings, queens, prime ministers and presidents. That he would influence top-ranking officials from all around the world. This "calling' supposedly lasted for a half-hour! Did Jesus hand Kris a towel at least or did he have to sit in his ever-chilling bathwater for thirty minutes? Thanks Kris for a visual I will need to pray out of my mind's eye. In all seriousness, this is an absurd story. It reminds me of Kim-Walker-Smith's tale of a waking visitation from Jesus who whisked her away to the throne room where she met the Father face to face despite the bible assuring us she would die of that was so! Who taught Walker-Smith? Kris Vallotton and Bethel Church.

"Let me be clear, my journey was not perfect, and my emotions were all over the map, but the truth is, the 20 years from the promise to the palace (metaphorically speaking) was a part of the perfect plan of God, as I spent years forging a road in obedience and building a foundation of faith; un-perfectly but passionately pursuing the prophetic call on my life. What I've learned is that often when we receive a word from the Lord our urgency for promotion can defeat our ability to walk humbly through the process into promotion. Remember, the Lord promotes the humble but humbles the proud." - Kris Vallotton

Yes, the Lord promotes the humble and what can be humbler than claiming Jesus Himself visited you and your rubber ducky during bath time to assure you that you will be so special as to speak to the most powerful people in the world? Notice Vallotton refers to his "un-perfect" pursuit. That is because he has been caught on the wrong side of prophecies many times before. The most recent being his prophesy that Donald Trump would be re-elected. He did apologize but mostly because Bethel teaches that as long as you are sincere and take ownership, you get to continue to be a false prophet. This has nothing to do with being urgent in your promotion. Kris Vallotton said he heard from God and oops, he did not. That presumption would cost him his life in the Old Testament but in the new, he is just to be marked and avoided. Instead, Kris thinks it means he is to host a weekly long false-prophecy-fest for four hundred bucks a pop.

"Have you ever wondered what the difference is between the gift of prophecy and the office of a prophet? I often see this confused in prophetic culture and hope to bring some clarity to the call of a prophet today. The gift of prophecy is one of the nine spiritual gifts mentioned in 1 Corinthians 12; it is given by the power of the Holy Spirit. The purpose of the gift of prophecy is to edify, exhort, and comfort. Let me be clear, though through the Holy Spirit we have been given access to spiritual gifts, we have also been told to earnestly seek them (1 Corinthians 14:1). If you want to grow in the gift of prophecy, I encourage you to seek the Lord and ask him for His good gifts. The Lord desires to give us His gifts more than we could ever want them. What I am getting at is, prophecy is a gift, not a reward; you cannot earn it or achieve it you only can receive it. "A prophet is not a gifted person but is a gift to the Church (Ephesians 4:7). The office of a prophet is a call; it is who the person is not what the person does. In order to be a prophet, there has to be a private encounter and a public acknowledgment. If you have a private encounter but are not acknowledged before men you are not a prophet to anyone because you are not operating in the fullness of your calling. What I am getting at is, a prophet has a metron which is their sphere of authority. If you are operating in the office of a prophet but have no sphere of influence you will have no authority with man. If you receive a word from the Lord before the mantel on your life is recognized, I'd propose you are on the journey from the promise to the palace. I encourage you to practice walking in royalty, surround yourself with community, and seek the Lord. An isolated prophet can lead to unhealth and disfunction; accountability and covering will be essential for your growth -- the role of a prophet is to equip the saints it is critical to build trust with God and with Man." - Kris Vallotton

What absolute nonsense. What prophet in the Old Testament pined to be acknowledged before men so they could be operating in the fullness of their calling? None. Whether men acknowledge you or not the word of the Lord does not change and neither does the role of the prophet. Are you seeing what Kris is saying here? If you do not have people willing to call you a prophet than you are not one yet. You are still on this mystical journey from the promise to the palace, a crude reference to Joseph I imagine. I remember once reading a false prophet who promised you the "Joseph Anointing" for the right amount of money. This was to go from the promise to the palace. I guess he must have skipped the portions of the Joseph anointing where he was sold into slavery by his brothers, falsely accused by Potiphar's wife, wrongfully imprisoned for 14 years and forgotten by the cupbearer. So how does Kris propose you while the days away on this journey? Practice walking in royalty! Ahh yes, there is that great humble spirit Kris spoke about earlier. Everyone remembers when Isiah walked in royalty don't we? Jeremiah? No?

"After years of mining on the frontlines of the prophetic without any resources or prophetic community, I had a deep desire to see the prophets of our day equipped and encouraged in their call. Out of this desire, I created The School of the Prophets -- a week-long training event for prophets, highly prophetic people, and church leaders that want to learn to advance and increase their prophetic call. This year, The School of the Prophets is happening both in-person at Bethel Church in Redding, CA, and online August 2-6, 2021. I believe God is calling His prophets and prophetesses to understand the current cries heard globally during this unique moment in history. The School of the Prophets is a great opportunity to join other leaders from all over the world in a week-long training event for prophets, highly prophetic people, and church leaders and learn how to advance and increase your prophetic call. My heart is to see prophets step up to the plate, be equipped in their calling, engage in the world's darkest circumstances, and get deployed in your divine destiny. If you have a desire to be equipped or accelerate your prophetic calling I encourage you to register for The School of the Prophets 2021. My prayer for you this week is that you would feel the closeness of the Lord. No matter the calling or miracle you are waiting to see unfold in your life, remember the divine purpose and care that the heavenly Father has for you." - Kris Vallotton

We all remember Jonah mining on the frontlines without any resources don't we? Please. The only desire here is for cash. Four hundred dollars per person, for one week filled with garbage and lies about how you too can be a false prophet. See here that Kris Vallotton believes he can accelerate your prophetic calling! I thought that was God's purview? Not when you are the huckster peddling God's word! It is a hard sell though. To learn how to walk in royalty on the journey to our figurative palace of counseling world leaders while somehow still claiming that humility is the key. Sorry, I found myself sitting in a swirl of sarcasm there for a minute"

Reverend Anthony Wade - June 24, 2021

Authors Bio:
Credentialed Minister of the Gospel for the Assemblies of God. Owner and founder of 828 ministries. Vice President for Goodwill Industries. Always remember that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.