Some simple biblical steps to take when you are hurt by the church...

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Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood. I know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them. -- Acts 20:28-30 (ESV)

We often have these idealistic thoughts that dominate our thinking and one of them is church should be a place where no one gets hurt. While ideally true, the church is made up of other humans and therefore the notion of creating a Utopia is simply not plausible. Humans hurt other humans. We are in fact pretty good at it. That includes Christians who have mastered the art of hurting people and feeling morally justified in doing so. The scourge of the church hurt phenomenon has accelerated in these the last days. The love of most inside the church is growing cold. A significant factor contributing to this is how pastors are taught today within the Purpose Driven Industrial Complex. Fifty years ago pastors were, pastoral. They shepherded. They cared about the flock because they believed the key verses today. They understood that Jesus obtained the church with His own blood and therefore is precious in His sight. So if Bob was a pastor being taught 50 years ago he learned to care for the church of God but today he would be taught to care for the church of Bob. That is what the purpose driven paradigm sets up. Individual silo churches that are more associated with the cult of personality leader than with God. What is worse, Rick Warren teaches young pastors that shepherding? That's for suckers:

"Be willing to let people leave the church. And I told you earlier the fact that people are gonna leave the church no matter what you do. But when you define the vision, you're choosing who leaves. You say, "But Rick, yes, they're the pillars of the church." Now, you know what pillars are. Pillars are people who hold things up " And in your church, you may have to have some blessed subtractions before you have any real additions" -- Rick Warren in the Purpose Driven Church

The Purpose Driven Church is mandatory reading these days for pastors. Here we see Warren mocking those that crave pure doctrine instead of the purpose driven slop that Warren advocates for. Don't think for a second the message is lost. The opening line from Mark Driscoll's infamous "pile of dead bodies behind the Mars Hill bus" rant is "I am all about blessed subtraction." Another Warrenite, Andy Stanley has advocated for not using the word shepherd anymore because he claims it is not culturally relevant. This is the backdrop for why so many people are being hurt by the church today. That is the first big distinction we need to make. I am not speaking about people who got hurt by other people in the church. I am speaking about people hurt by the church. They litter the Christian landscape today, still bleeding from their wounds and refusing to trust another church again. Now that we have an understanding of why people get hurt, let's take a look at what to do.

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?--unless indeed you fail to meet the test! -- 2Corinthians 13:5 (ESV)

Beloved the very first thing we must do is test ourselves. Now I know, most will just reflexively react that they "know" they are saved but that is a dangerous game. Let us deal with some biblical realities. The key verses teach that Paul knew that wolves would infiltrate the church and not spare the flock. Wolves teach false doctrines, preach a false gospel, and present a false christ. The bible also say that we can believe in vain -- meaning we believe but it gains us nothing. Romans teaches us that only the Gospel has the power of God unto the salvation of man. That means without the true Gospel -- no one gets saved. Despite the fixation on revival the bible actually prophesies a great end times apostasy, or falling away. The vast amount of television preachers you see operate apostate churches. They focus on material prosperity, usurping the power of God or idolizing this country instead of the true Gospel. Rick Warren once taught pastors that if they wanted Easter visitors to return the following week they should not preach the Gospel in order to "give them a reason" to come back. That is what apostasy looks like beloved. It is important that we test ourselves because if you do not recognize you have been taught falsely, you potentially will seek out another church that teaches the same heresy. If you think this is not dangerous let us look at the end result of not testing yourself:

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?' And then will I declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.' -- Matthew 7:21-23 (ESV)

These should be sobering verses for all Christians and reemphasize the need to always work our salvation out with fear and trembling. Beloved, these people who stand before the Lord are fully "churched" people. They saw miracles! They cast out demons! Yet Jesus never knew them! I know that people who follow Joseph Prince believe they are saved but I would have serious reservations as such. Same for adherents of Joel Osteen who never hear the Gospel message. Same for Bethel worshippers who hear a smorgasbord of false teachings every week. This same phenomenon can easily occur at the local level. Test yourself. Jesus warns us when we have convinced ourselves that our darkness is light -- how deep is that darkness! Being in church did not save me. Repeating a prayer did not save me. Having saving faith in Christ did and there was a marked change in who I was post-salvation. Perfect? Far from it but different for sure.

Second, is to realize you are not alone and God does not intend for you to be alone. Just look at the key verses from Paul's farewell to the leaders at the Ephesian church. He is not guessing here beloved. He KNOWS that after he leaves savage wolves will invade the flock and not spare any. Men speaking twisted things like usurping the power of God by speaking things into existence or usurping the Holy Spirit by pretending you can teach His gifts. Twisted things like worshipping pastors, churches or political parties. Drawing followers unto themselves and away from the Gospel. It is a sad and yet amazing thing to engage with people who are disciples of man and not God. Paul warned us about it:

What I mean is that each one of you says, "I follow Paul," or "I follow Apollos," or "I follow Cephas," or "I follow Christ." Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? -- 1Corinthians 1:12-13 (ESV)

So it goes today. Many say they follow Bill Johnson. I follow Mike Bickle. I follow Joseph Prince. Don't believe me? Try having any constructive conversation with them about their idol. I recently had a discussion with someone defending Mark Driscoll! Yes the same Mark Driscoll that stole 200K in tithe monies to cheat the NY Times best seller list! Yet there was no backing him down or getting him to see how he was worshipping man and not God. So from the days of Paul and the Ephesian Church we have seen this dynamic play out which means we are never alone beloved. There are other folks just like us, going through the same pain. This is important because I have met many church hurt people who have chosen a road of isolation and that is not biblical either. We are one body and we cannot tell other parts of the body we do not need them. Only the devil wants us alone because as Ecclesiastes teaches us, alone we have no one to help us when we fall. We need people of like faith beloved.

This brings us to point number three. We must discern better now that we have seen the truth. Not everyone who sits in a church is our brethren. Narrow is the way and few are those who find it. We need to seek out discernment based ministries to better sift through the various teachings out there. We need to find brothers and sisters who share this desire to be Bereans and never be fooled again. That includes finding a church that does likewise. A church that exposits the Word of God. A church where the sermons are about Christ and not about me. A church that does not follow the purpose driven models of growth. A church that caters to the sheep and not the goats, as is the design of God. At first this may seem like trying to find the Ark of the Covenant but they are still out there. If you are still having trouble consider starting a small bible study of people who just want the truth. You just need a solid leader and a reliable host. The most fruitful time I have had is when I ran my once per week bible study with just a small handful of friends. Everybody participated and everybody grew.

The fourth and final point is to avoid the trap of hating the bride of Christ. I remember I joined a couple of Facebook groups that were sold as discernment based but were really just groups of church hurt people who liked to stand around and cast stones and the bride of my Savior. Good luck with that strategy! God still loves His bride and we need to stop confusing the apostate church we see all around us with the remnant that is our true brethren. People who worship false teachers always ask why I don't just pray for them. My answer is simple. They are not my brethren. They are a wolf devouring my brethren. The bible does not command me to pray for them, beg them to stop being false, pet them, coddle them or anything other than expose them, mark them, and rebuke them.

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. -- Ephesians 5: 11 (ESV)

Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them -- Romans 16: 17 (KJV)

He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it. -- Titus 1: 9 (ESV)

The urge will be there however to blame all for the sins of some. Seek out our true brethren and enjoy their fellowship. The bride of Christ did not hurt you -- the apostate church did. There is a reason why the bible implores us to do our own homework and ensure we are being taught correctly. There is a reason why Paul names names of false teachers and the bible is filled with warnings against it. There is a reason why the bible says we are to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. Iron sharpness iron but that alone implies two people. The anti-bride church hurt people are easy to spot. They wear their pain on their sleeve and wield it like a hammer. In many cases they appear to know the Word but use it to proof text their stone casting. Avoid them beloved for you may not be part of a church but you are part of the body of Christ.

There are few things more painful than being hurt by people you trusted and believed were in this for Jesus. I know. I have been there too. These steps I believe are crucial following the exodus from a church that has hurt you. You must test yourself to make sure that it is not a false christ you have been sold. Do not rely upon your feelings and experiences to sway you into belief. Use the Word of God alone. Next you need to realize that you are far from alone. Associate with people who share your faith and understand your pain. Seek out churches that are preaching the whole counsel of God and not these modern goat-focused, seeker-friendly purpose farms. Lastly, make sure your pain does not become an excuse to hate the bride of Christ. Learn to differentiate between the apostate church and the remnant. It is ok to admit that you were fooled once but never again beloved. Never again.

Reverend Anthony Wade -- November 17, 2018

Authors Bio:
Credentialed Minister of the Gospel for the Assemblies of God. Owner and founder of 828 ministries. Vice President for Goodwill Industries. Always remember that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.