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Invisible Snakes and Giving Birth in a Furnace - This Week In Leclaire Lunacy

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a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance -- Ecclesiastes 3:4 (ESV)

The key verse today is from the wise words of Solomon as he reminds us that there is a time for everything under the sun. Whenever I turn to the ministry of Jennifer Leclaire, it just feels like the time to laugh. This false prophetess is the same that one time prophesied there was a "sneaky squid spirit" that was sitting on her friend's head and then started stalking her! That earned her the nickname of the Calamari Queen but did not stop her silliness. She prophesied that she was releasing the angels of abundant harvest. She claimed God told her that the word for the month once was "mega." She upped the game on the Charismaniacal notion of "suddenlies" by creating "instantaneouslies." She created her own motel room school, where she teaches you to become a false prophet too! Not content with that scheme she created a second school, same motel room, for a "Seer" school. Of course biblically, seer and prophet are synonymous but now she can charge you twice! Yet despite the obvious nature of her heresy, many still fall for her duplicitous shenanigans. So let us see how her week has been going beloved and please forgive any snark but someone this willfully trying to make merchandise and fools of my brethren deserves nothing from me but mockery and utter contempt. Let us first deal with this summary of a video log Jennifer posted a few days ago:

"A python spirit is raging. Less than two weeks ago, I took four steps out of my reading chair when my foot suddenly went numb, and my ankle popped. That all but paralyzed me for several days. I went to church on crutches and preached on God's will anyway. On our way to Kansas City for my prophetic intercessors retreat, the plane engine blew, and we had to make an emergency landing. Our car nearly tipped over in the rain, we were locked out of our rental house in the storm, and our church building collapsed back home and was all over the news. The source? Demons empowered by false-prophet word curses. In this vlog, I share the experience and how to pray in the midst of an onslaught." -- Jennifer Leclaire

A python spirit is raging? Oh no! You remember when that happened in the Gospel accounts, right? Or when Paul taught about it in one of his prison epistles? No, funny I don't remember it either. It is however painfully ironic that her ankle popped when she was due to speak on the will of God yet she blamed it on an invisible snake. Then on her way to her gathering of false prophets who routinely mock God her plane almost crashes and her car almost wrecks. Jennifer, maybe God is trying to tell you something! Locked out in a storm and then your building in South Florida collapsed? I just have one question.

How come you didn't see all of this coming?

I mean, you are a prophetess right? So God likes to show you when spirit fish are sitting on people's heads but the collapse of your church He goes silent on? He shows you how to drown mermen and other water spirits but your imminent death by plane crash He keeps from you? It would seem one of the perks of your role would be a little personal insight but I guess not. And you blame the source of all of these varied an unconnected occurrences to be a spiritual attack carried out by demons fueled by people calling you a false prophet. Except you are Jennifer. That is not a "word curse"; which does not exist by the way. Jesus removed curses from our lives. You ought to really read the bible once in a while. If you did you would find no lurking pythons behind every bush. In the real world, engines malfunction, cars almost tip over in the rain, and buildings do indeed collapse. Now God does allow these things through His permissive will but they are not attacks. This is the modus operandi of the experiential, false signs and lying wonders Christianity beloved. Everything that is positive is counted as God's favor and everything negative is an attack, usually by Jezebel, python, or word curses. Absolute rubbish. The second amusing thing this week from Leclaire ministries is her latest prophecy. Linked above it appears that we all will be giving birth, regardless of gender, in a furnace. Ouch.

"On my Mornings With the Holy Spirit prayer call, I heard the Lord say: "I, Myself, am your escape. So, stop looking here, there and everywhere for relief from the fire. For I am trying to birth in you and through you a movement of prayer in your spirit and in your heart that will break every chain; that will cause you to rise up, even in the midst of the fire, and sing My praises and shout My glory and see who I really am. I am birthing in you a movement of prayer. I am birthing through you a cry--a cry for deliverance. I am birthing through you a measure of intercession that you've never seen before. I heard the Lord say, "When you're in this furnace of affliction, if you'll get your mind off yourself and begin to get your mind on Me--if you'll get your mind off yourself and begin to get your mind on others who have it worse than you--you will see a measure of freedom and a self-sacrificing attitude that will bring you out of the furnace of affliction faster than any measure of self-pity ever would or ever could." -- Jennifer Leclaire

For the sake of time, I will refrain from reprinting the remainder of this false prophecy. Rest assured that we will emerge from the wilderness like Jesus and with an anointing! Apparently the furnace is burning away that which hinders love or something of that nature. As always, there is a new level of glory, whatever that is supposed to mean. Jennifer says God said that He will always deliver us because He delights in us. Yet her church did collapse, right?

First of all, Jennifer did not hear the Lord say anything. If she did He would start by telling her to stop fleecing His children of their hard earned money. Secondly He would demand she stop pretending to hear from Him and speak presumptuously on His behalf. Thirdly, He would recommend a good recipe to fry that sneaky squid once and for all. But note beloved how pious sounding the message is. Focus more on God in your struggles and He will deliver you. Not an overall bad message but it is wrapped up in this Charismaniacal-Babble. You are going to give birth! Really? I don't think so. No wait, you will give birth inside a furnace! Huh? That doesn't sound safe at all! I am birthing through you a measure of intercession. Well, I am glad you cleared that up! Beloved this is all accomplishing one purpose and that is to draw your attention away from the real Christ and His real Gospel. God is not impregnating you and then baking you so that you can have a deeper prayer life with Him. If you believe so, I worry that the sneaky squid may have got you too.

Rev. Anthony.

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Credentialed Minister of the Gospel for the Assemblies of God. Owner and founder of 828 ministries. Vice President for Goodwill Industries. Always remember that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to (more...)
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