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Revenge of the Squid! Lunacy Hunting with Jennifer Leclaire

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For the household gods utter nonsense, and the diviners see lies; they tell false dreams and give empty consolation. Therefore the people wander like sheep; they are afflicted for lack of a shepherd. -- Zechariah 10: 2 (ESV)

In the midst of another contentious election season it was joyful to see on Charisma News a headline not about politics but about their other specialty -- sheer abject craziness. I needed a good merman spirit story or how gold dust is really biblical. Something that could provide a laugh as a wrapped my bible around it. I needed a shift in the atmosphere as territories were expanding and the very windows of heaven were thrown open to me. I needed a Kairos moment wrapped up in a suddenly. You know what I mean beloved? Sometimes you just need an Elijah mantle to fall on your head to get you through your Ziklag moment. So I took up the five smooth stones of my life and walked towards the giant standing before me and when I brought up Charisma News I saw that God again answers prayers"

The Sneaky Squid Spirit has returned.

For the uninitiated, a former editor at Charisma News and prophetic whackadoodle, Jennifer Leclaire floated the notion of a sneaky squid spirit attacking her awhile back. This caused a huge uproarious laugh among discernment circles and much needed rebukes from the four corners of Christendom. Then it went away although the echoing chuckles reverberated until this very day. We all were left breathless (python attack?) as we waited for the revenge of the calamari and today that revenge cometh. At the link above you will find a 20 minute infomercial from Leclaire regarding the return of this silly, absurd false spirit. I will paraphrase some of what was said so we can reason once more, slay this pesky cephalopod once and for all, and move on to more important marine demons.

"If you could see in the spirit realm as I do, you would see that the spirits take on the shape of different animals." -- Jennifer Leclaire

The opening salvo from Leclaire is to claim that she has super powers the average Christian just does not possess. She does this for three primary reasons. The first is to loft herself above everyone else and pretend that this somehow lends credibility to the nonsense she says. The second is financial. She charges hundreds of dollars per year for people to join her school for seers, which she operates out of a motel room at the Fort Lauderdale Airport. That is in addition to a school for prophets, and various other money traps she has laid out for you. It must be a deluxe sweet at that motel she has. The third reason is the same reason huckster pastors always proclaim their word came directly from God through personal revelation -- it is impossible to see and witness directly.

"There is a class of spirits called water demons. The Leviathan Spirit is represented by a crocodile and the Behemoth Spirit by a hippopotamus." -- Jennifer Leclaire

Beloved the behemoth spirit is listed once in scripture, in the Book of Job. It does describe a huge beast but the part where you make it into a hippopotamus is simply fiction made up by Jennifer Leclaire. Leviathan is more frequently mentioned in scripture and is often considered the original sea monster story. I have never heard it be represented by a crocodile. Oh such confusion! If only we had a book on these aquatic mysteries! What? Oh, Jennifer has just released such a book?

How convenient!

Yes beloved, Jennifer Leclaire has just published a book on combatting water demons. Then she suddenly has a dream about the sneaky squid and feels compelled to take to her video feed right away to warn the body of Christ! Oh and sell her book! It seems that the squid is not the sneaky one after all. She then tells her dream where there were all sorts of squids and octopi with their tentacles reaching out but no one took notice. This of course was interpreted prophetically that Christians do not discern the danger lurking from marine demons and if only they would buy her book! So many could be saved! A book she claimed in this video that the Lord made her write!

Her teaching was that the squid spirit attacks your nervous system. Additionally, the squid is a master of mind control and "mind binding." It apparently attaches itself through the suckers in its tentacles to your mind and the more you struggle to try and use your mind to free yourself the tighter you make its grip. Yes you read that right, you cannot use your mind to defeat this, which is why you need something so devoid of reason such as a book on water demons that do not exist. As if expecting the coming backlash, Leclaire closed her teaching by binding my wagging tongue:

"Some of you might think I am crazy. That's ok; when a spirit attacks you, you know where to find me. I know there is a mocking spirit watching me right now. I bind your wagging tongue in the name of Jesus. I command you to be silent in the name of the Lord. And all of you heresy hunters who are going nuts with this." -- Jennifer Leclaire

I wouldn't pin it down to just my spirit Jennifer. My entire being is mocking you. My derision is all you deserve for trying to deceive the body of Christ. Just like the false prophets in the days of Zechariah from our key verse today. Jennifer either sees lies or she outright tells them knowingly. She tells false dreams as we see today. Through her lies she provides empty consolation. The end result is some wander off, like sheep without a true shepherd. Do not ever think that hucksters like Jennifer Leclaire do not have victims lying in the wake of their deceit. They always do.

I guess your command to bind my wagging tongue was as real as the squid spirit you were selling today Jennifer. I will grant you one favor though. I do not think I will refer to what you do as heresy any longer. That is insulting to heresy. A heretic at least tries to have the veneer of something that might be plausible biblically. For you Jennifer I am not longer heresy hunting. I am lunacy hunting. Synonyms for lunacy are stupidity and idiocy and that gets much closer to the standard you have set. Sorry if this upsets you but I think I have the sucker from a piece of bad calamari stuck to my brain; you understand.

Rev. Anthony.

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Credentialed Minister of the Gospel for the Assemblies of God. Owner and founder of 828 ministries. Vice President for Goodwill Industries. Always remember that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to (more...)
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