Once again, if God is building the relationship, then God will maintain it. We should want the power of God to rest not only on ourselves, but also on our relationships. In order for that to happen, we must decrease, so that He may increase. That means having a sacrificial mindset within the relationship. If both parties truly place God first and the other person second then the relationship will avoid some of the more common pitfalls stemming from poor consideration (rudeness), selfishness and anger. Again, this does not mean that we can expect perfection. There will be times of inconsideration, selfishness and anger because we are human and the flesh is the flesh. But they do not rule the day as we see in Ephesians:
In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4: 26-27
Note that Paul acknowledges that we will be angry but instead focuses on when anger can lead to sin. He implores us to not let the sun go down on our anger and that should be a staple for any loving Godly relationship as well. By having the sacrificial mindset of God first and the other person second, anger can be dealt with more effectively. If it is not, Paul clearly states that what you are allowing to happen is for the enemy to gain a foothold in the relationship and he is very adept at exploiting those footholds.
Lastly from this verse, love keeps no record of wrongs. This is always a tough one for us! It seems inherent in our nature to not be able to let things go. Yet this is not God's design for a loving relationship. Take the ultimate loving relationship, God and you. For God so loved the world (you!) that He gave His only begotten Son to save it (you!). Now think for a moment about the record of wrongs God could hold against you. Yet because of His love, he chose to not hold these against you. Because when He sees you, He only sees the blood of Jesus Christ! The same should hold true in a Godly loving relationship! If Christ is first in your lives and your relationship, then you should only see Christ in the other person first and not the temporal list of wrongs we normally would hold against a person! We must choose to not keep that record of wrongs the world so encourages us to keep.
As always, these elements are choices. In a loving relationship, we must choose to love and choose to be love. Not to fall into it, but to be it. When you "fall into" love, you are abdicating control to the emotion. Now the emotion controls you. When you choose to be love, you are abdicating control to God. It is always better when God is in control but the choice is always ours. We must choose to be considerate. We must choose to be selfless. We must choose to not let the sun go down on our anger. We must choose to see Christ in the people we love rather than keep a record of their mistakes; always remembering how much God has overlooked in us. Are these easy lessons to implement? No, because they grate against so much of our flesh and what we have reduced love to over the centuries. Too often we may pass on what would have been a Godly love, searching for the elusive butterflies; instead of creating them ourselves. The world has stripped the Spirit out of love and left it alone to wander around in the depths of our souls. There it is susceptible to the whims of emotion and the harshness of the world. Thankfully, the bible tells us all that we need to know and life always remains about choices. Choose to be love. Choose to put God in control today.
Anthony Wade June 17, 2008
