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God Apparently Suffers from Seasonal Prophetic Multi-Personality Disorder

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And the king of Israel said to Jehoshaphat, "There is yet one man by whom we may inquire of the Lord, Micaiah the son of Imlah, but I hate him, for he never prophesies good concerning me, but evil." And Jehoshaphat said, "Let not the king say so." - 1Kings 22:8 (ESV)

There is a little-known story tucked away in 1Kings, Chapter 22, that perfectly highlights what is wrong with the gaggle of false prophets peacocking their way through churchianity today. The hero of this story is an even lesser-known prophet named Micaiah and in the efforts of full disclosure he is also my favorite prophet. Allow me to briefly summarize. The King of Judah was Ahab and he went to the King of Israel, Jehoshaphat, so they might join forces against the Ramoth-gilead. Since Jehoshaphat was devoted to God he asked for Ahab to inquire with his prophets for a word from the Lord before setting off to war. Ahab gathered 400 false prophets to tell him what he wanted to hear - go to war and God will deliver Ramoth-gilead into your hands. Jehoshaphat knew these words meant nothing so he asked if there was another prophet they may ask and that is when we come to the key verse for today. Look at the answer from the wicked king. He hates Micaiah because he never prophecies good about him. The church today is King Ahab, seeking a word to tickle their ears and condemning anything they deem negative. The discerning remnant is much like poor Micaiah. Trying desperately to be honest to what God has said. Micaiah tells Ahab that God has shown him that the 400 prophets were given a lying spirit and that if he went to battle, he would perish. His reward was to be struck by one of the lying prophets and thrown into prison until Ahab "returned in peace." Micaiah only response was "If you return in peace, the Lord has not spoken by me."

With this as the backdrop, it is time for the annual examination of the false prophet brigade's mishmash of Christmas and New Year's prophecies that trip over each other. Remember that the only purpose God has for prophets is to tell His people something He wishes to convey. There is only one Lord. There is only one Spirit. Therefore, there should only be one collective message, no? I am going to go through several "prophecies", all listed today on Charisma News. Remember these people are all claiming to have heard directly from God. Let us reason once more together, starting with Rabbi Carl Landry who declares 2023 will see a great transfer of wealth, a common prophecy among false prophets. According to Landry we need to position our finances correctly in order to hear from the Holy Spirit. Who knew? Seriously, this is practically cookie cutter for prosperity prophecies. They paint God as someone indifferent to our suffering until we get aligned somehow to receive this great wealth transfer. It is insulting on so many levels.

Another typical form of false prophesy is the doom and gloom prophecy that focuses the church on the world. Dr. Paula Price claims God showed her a huge teardrop falling from heaven and God told her he is weeping for the earth. Apparently, we have allowed occultism, mysticism, witchcraft and magic to totally dominate our landscape. Because of this apparently there will be "persecution legislation" coming to punish us. Beloved this is all code speak for the NAR dominionism that Price idolizes. If we were honest with ourselves, we would be lamenting the occultism, mysticism and witchcraft we allow to this day within the church itself. Watch the videos from Toronto, Pensacola, Lakeland or any number of false revivals and you will see nothing but demonic spirits running wild. Prophecy itself is nothing more than carnal clairvoyance today and the schemes used by the false prophet brigade are the same used by dime store psychics. Wait minute. What does the legislative prophecy have to do with the aligning ourselves to steal the wealth of the world prophecy? You know who I turn to when things get this confusing - Chuck Pierce.

'"This is a time of great movement! A prophetic portal formed during worship on Sunday, and a fresh stream of revelation broke forth. As we press beyond our tabernacles season, declare that you are advancing with a new turning, a new exchanging, a new wind, a new movement and a new giving! God says: "I am going to turn you like I turn a key! I'm going to turn you just like I turn a key and cause your eyes and ears to open up. "Keep your eyes open when you turn. As you keep your eyes open, I'm going to cause that shift in your whole body to cause a shift to be turned around, so that you can be like the key that turns the lock that opens the doors. "I am exchanging keys! Satan has used a key of death against you, but I am the God of death, hell and the grave. "I am giving you a key to exchange for the death structure that is working against you. This key may appear as an old jail-like key chain, but it will sparkle and drip with gold. Old places of captivity in your life and bloodline are being unlocked by My glory."' - Chuck Pierce

Well that certainly clears things up! So, for 2023 we need to press beyond our tabernacle season so we can advance a new turning, exchanging, wind, movement and giving. To be honest, I can really use a new wind. So, I guess Dr. Price and Rabbi Landry were mistaken in what they say they heard because Saint Chuck here says that the real word from God is that He wants to turn us like a key! Then somehow, we will exchange our devil keys for those that drip with gold to unlock my bloodline. There is a technical discernment term for this type of prophecy - whackadoodle. I think that is what Micaiah called the 400 false prophets of Ahab, well in the New Living Translation at least. Unfortunately, I am afraid that Chuck Pierce only further complicated things so let's turn from the whackadoodle to the lunatic Mario Murillo:

"Well, I am telling you that 2023 will begin as a massive storm, but it will end as a vast opportunity"perhaps the greatest opportunity of our lives. The massive storm will be in nature, our money and the condition of cities. A long overdue cultural correction is coming in the New Year. God is judging America. We will be spared destruction, but not punishment." - Mario Murillo

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Credentialed Minister of the Gospel for the Assemblies of God. Owner and founder of 828 ministries. Vice President for Goodwill Industries. Always remember that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to (more...)
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