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Sitting in a Swirl of Bovine Excrement, Kris Vallotton Will Make You A False Prophet for Only $400

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You see, we are not like the many hucksters who preach for personal profit. We preach the word of God with sincerity and with Christ's authority, knowing that God is watching us. - 2Corinthians 2:17 (NLT)

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Kris Vallotton is the textbook definition of the huckster the key verse today warns us about. One who does not teach with sincerity, lacking any biblical authority, seemingly not to care that God is indeed watching. This is a man who has literally written books about our royalty and how we all deserve to be rich beyond our dreams of avarice. Like any good huckster however, Vallotton has many avenues to fleece God's flock. Through the faux school of the supernatural he has founded at Bethel Church, Vallotton hosts a week-long teaching for wannabe prophets. Don't have a calling? Don't worry! For a mere $395 you too can be taught directly by Kris how to be a false prophet too! In a transparently obvious attempt to sound biblical, Vallotton calls this the "School of the Prophets." Here is his brief pitch:

"The School of the Prophets has deep roots in biblical history. In the Old Testament, the prophet Samuel started a school for the purpose of training young prophets. Elisha succeeded Samuel as the head of the school. At the School of the Prophets this August, we hope to continue this Biblical legacy, and to help connect and develop prophetic people, prophets and prophetesses who can effectively work with five-fold leadership teams to see the history of their cities rewritten! God is calling His prophets and leaders to recognize this season. The question being asked of you right now is, will you answer the call to rise up? Your decision to say yes to the anointing on your life will positively influence the course of history! I hope you'll join us." - Kris Vallotton

The vast majority of bible translations refers to the company of prophets, not school. Either way, this was not Samuel opening a literal school or seeking cash to train them for a week. The kindest analysis would call what Vallotton is doing as a bastardization of scripture. To take a reference, that occurs in a couple of scriptures, and seek how to monetize it for personal gain. This company of prophets were actual prophets. They actually heard from God and what they prophesied came true. How can we know this? Because the bible sets out guidelines for prophets! This plea by Vallotton is for anyone who may be interested in faking prophecy. The only prerequisite is if you pay him. In return Vallotton promises people they will positively influence the course of history! How arrogant and duplicitous. Huckster indeed. Along with this plea for money, Vallotton writes an article trying to parse the difference between a gift of prophecy and a calling to the office of prophet. The link can be found above. Let us reason once more together.

"Have you ever sat in the swirl of uncertainty; questioning your calling or destiny? Or maybe you know you are made for something great but no one else has recognized it in you? I see this happen often; it can feel like the Lord comes in the night to whisper a secret that is left to simmer in your heart for years as you wait for the world to recognize and respect the call of God on your life. I understand the longing in waiting on the Word of the Lord to unfold in your life. The excitement as you dream of what it will be like, and the fear as you begin to question how it will all unfold and if you are capable."

I have never sat in a swirl of uncertainty but I think I know the smell of the swirl of manure when I sense it and that is not even prophetic. It just takes discernment. Beloved, if you are truly called of God there will be no uncertainty. You will not question it. Prophets of old actually heard from the Lord. He does not stutter. What Bethel and Vallotton teach is not prophesy but rather mysticism techniques of emptying oneself to "hear" whatever pops into our wickedly deceitful hearts. The person is then "trained" to ascribe these feelings to "hearing from God." If it turns out that it was just the pizza you ate the night before and not actually God, the false prophet is assured that getting it wrong is somehow part of the development of the prophetic. It is not. It is the end of the façade that you are prophetic. Samuel never waited on the world to recognize him. He could care less personally when people, like Saul, did not respect his call. The prophet speaks for God and is no respecter of person. Vallotton is all about being respected by people to validate a calling he simply does not have. We can be assured of this even by hearing his own story about how he was "called."

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Credentialed Minister of the Gospel for the Assemblies of God. Owner and founder of 828 ministries. Vice President for Goodwill Industries. Always remember that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to (more...)
 
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