To follow up on their video declaring God wants them to have private jets, Kenneth Copeland and Jesse Duplantis will announce a new Triple Anointing Blessing (TAB) they are offering for a limited time. The premise is simple. There are 31,102 verses in God's Holy Word. Triple that and you get 93,306 so your TAB comes to $93,306.
Kim Walker-Smith will tell us that she was again visited by Jesus who whisked her away to the throne room for a latte with the Father. Jesus Culture will follow by releasing a new hit, "Jehovah Latte," which will rapidly become the number one worship song in churches across America.
Misty Edwards will respond with her new hit, "Jesus Looks Hot in That Robe." Mike Bickle sings backup.
Jennifer LeClaire will prophesy something so false in its premise that it could not possibly come true, again.
Kim Clement will falsely prophesy something so silly that the snake handling Christians will appear sane, again.
Chuck Pierce will prophesy something so vague in incoherent that even Lou Engle will be confused, again.
Hillsong will do the club song, "My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard" during worship one Sunday setting off a firestorm. Brian Houston and Carl Lentz will hold a press conference to assert that even if they have to draw people with milkshakes to hear the gospel, isn't that worth it? Lentz will be quoted as saying, "We have a stance on love and a conversation about everything else, including the quality of anyone's milkshakes."
Following the release of "Captain America-Civil War" the Seeker Friendly Industrial Complex blows up with new Sermon Series' across the land, including:
