Unfortunately, forgiveness in modern society has become quite lukewarm. It has become a show of words as opposed to a change in the heart. I have seen people who think it is acceptable to forgive but not forget! I know people who have asked for forgiveness but in the same breath claimed to not want to see the person they are asking forgiveness from! This should not be! Forgiveness starts in the heart, during prayer. The actual words should be last, after the heart has been changed.
The second lesson is that we need to take action. Jesus says, "Go and be reconciled." He does not say wait for the right timing. He does not say pray for God to make a way or to create an opening for reconciliation. Christianity is not meant to be passive. Again it is a question of our heart. How serious does God take this?
If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. - 1 John 4:20
Yet the greatest lesson in these verses is the portion in the middle. It can often go unnoticed if we read it too quickly. It actually reads:
"that your brother has something against you"
This can be read two ways, both of which are amazing. The first is that the example Jesus gave indicates that the person making the offering may not actually be the one who did anything wrong to cause the division! Jesus is saying if you simply remember that your brother has something against you; then you must go and seek reconciliation. This grates against our flesh tremendously. If we have been wronged, we expect the other person to fix the problem. It becomes an issue of our pride.
The other way to read this portion is that you have indeed hurt the other person but that you may not view it that way. This speaks to perception. Often times, we can feel justified as if we have not done anything "wrong" but know that the other person still feels differently. Both parties draw their lines in the sand, cross their arms and say the other one has to come to them! Most disagreements result from an inability to see the other person's point of view and an unwillingness to listen. Jesus is instructing us here to put aside our foolish pride and realize that the fact that there is a difference at all is more important than who caused it. Paul calls this approach living a life worthy of the very calling God has placed on you!
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4: 1-3
