Rick Warren will organize and host "Faithapalooza 2016" at Saddleback. The highlight of the event will be stirring rendition of Kumbaya by Pastor Rick, Pope Francis, and Louis Farrakhan. The following day the Saddleback Minister of Information will deny allegations that Warren is a Dominionist and vehicle to bring about the end times one world religion, again.
When it's discovered that none of the 2015 "prophecies" of Cindy Jacobs have come true, Rick Joyner will demote her to Lieutenant.
Darren Wilson will reveal his new movie will be entitled, "Holy Ghost, Snowboarder." When some bristle at the lack of reverence, Wilson will respond, "Don't put God in your little box of religion you Pharisee! You think the Holy Ghost can't snowboard man? He invented the Stalefish Grab man!" When Brian "Head" Welch from Korn is asked why he is not in this movie, he will respond that even he has standards.
International House of Prayer will start a 24-hour a day positive affirmation chanting program.
Not to be outdone, the real IHOP will release the 2016 "Rooty-Tooty" breakfast special.
For those keeping score, the IHOP with the Rooty Tooty breakfast special will still be the more Biblical of the two.
Bill Hybels will try to top himself when putting together the 20th anniversary of his Global Leadership Conference. The result will be not one Christian speaking at the alleged Christian leadership conference. When Brian "Head" Welch from Korn is asked why he is not speaking at the conference, he will respond that even he has standards.
Another major Christian music artist will announce he/she is an atheist. In their press release they will state that they spent 20 years in church and while many people were nice, others were mean. When asked about Jesus, they will respond, "who?"
